“Hope does not disappoint, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” – Romans 5: 5
The beginning of a new year can be a time of increased hope. This year, hope is especially important as being Pilgrims of Hope is the theme of this Jubilee year within the Church. When Pope Francis shared about the Jubilee, he wrote:
Everyone knows what it is to hope. In the heart of each person, hope dwells as the desire and expectation of good things to come, despite our not knowing what the future may bring. Even so, uncertainty about the future may at times give rise to conflicting feelings, ranging from confident trust to apprehensiveness, from serenity to anxiety, from firm conviction to hesitation and doubt. Often we come across people who are discouraged, pessimistic and cynical about the future, as if nothing could possibly bring them happiness. For all of us, may the Jubilee be an opportunity to be renewed in hope. God’s word helps us find reasons for that hope.[1]
Read more about the Jubilee 2025 holy year.
Life can be hard at times or for long periods of time. Within marriage, there are disagreements, unacknowledged feelings, unmet expectations, and broken trust. There are also the impacts of struggles that families face with physical and mental illnesses or injuries, discrimination, addictions, work, finances, unexpected changes, immigration, death, and the list goes on. Given all of these challenges, there can be a tendency towards wanting to give up and, as Pope Francis acknowledged, can result in people becoming “discouraged, pessimistic and cynical about the future.”[2]
However, Pope Francis also shared that “hope is born of love and based on the love springing from the pierced heart of Jesus upon the cross.”[3] He reminded us that hope is possible within life’s suffering and comes from love, particularly Jesus’ love for us through His own suffering and death on the cross. Furthermore, within the study of hope, there are different mental and physical benefits that are associated with having hope.[4] Given this, how can you and your spouse foster hope amidst the difficulties you face, especially during this Jubilee year?
There are different actions people can take to develop hope within their lives. For instance, writing down a small goal along with several options of how to attain the goal is one way of increasing hope.[5] When life feels hard and overwhelming, hope and motivation can come from being able to achieve manageable, concrete, and small steps.[6] For example, if you want to set aside time to connect as a couple to pray, you could start with 2 minutes a day to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for each other and the love God has “poured into [your] hearts” (Romans 5: 5). You could also connect your small goal to a pre-existing routine to remember to do it, such as with your morning coffee, at a meal, or before brushing your teeth. After all, “hope is about embracing possibility, and it’s easier to maintain hope when you feel that your goals are achievable rather than lofty and distant.”[7]
There are also other ways of instilling hope. You can connect on a regular basis to supportive people who are encouraging you and your spouse. You can also take the perspective that setbacks provide you with information regarding changes you can make to better succeed in the future.[8] Struggles don’t mean giving up but shifting how something can come about, which avoids an all-or-nothing approach. For instance, if you set a goal of improving communication in your marriage by paraphrasing what you heard each other say before responding, yet you and your spouse forget to do so and have a disagreement instead, you could learn from this. In the learning process, perhaps you could watch a video about emotional flooding and decide on one strategy to try. Then after your next disagreement, rewatch the video and look at your progress and what changes you still need to make by trying another strategy. You can continue this process instead of giving up and assuming nothing will change.
Another way of increasing hope is to look at your past, especially as a couple, to identify times that you have achieved something hard or overcome difficulties.[9] For example, looking back to when you worked together to move or immigrate in the midst of a pregnancy, how you supported each other through a medical procedure, or enjoyed a holiday after a challenging time. Seeing how you have both grown through your struggles can help increase hope because it allows you to be reminded of some of your strengths and God’s presence within those times. Finally, you can celebrate your successes, especially the small ones.[10] This can include thanking God for the little steps you have made towards a goal, going on a date together, or having a special meal at home in honour of the changes you and your spouse are making.
If you need some encouragement of people who have faced difficult circumstances, had hope, and relied on their faith in Jesus, you can look to the examples of Canadian saints. For example, St. Marguerite Bourgeoys, who’s feast day is January 12th, immigrated to New France in 1653.[11] She founded the Congregation of Notre Dame despite difficulties she experienced, organized the construction of Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours chapel in Montréal, worked at Hôtel-Dieu Hospital, and was devoted to the family by educating women in preparation for family life.[12] St. Marguerite is the patron saint of “the struggle against poverty, against impoverishment, overcoming the loss of parents, and of rejection by religious orders,” all circumstances that require great hope![13]
Furthermore, St. André Bessette, who’s feast day is Jan. 7th, experienced many struggles. He could not read or write, was an orphan at age 12, and had poor health, which almost prevented him from being accepted in the Congregation of the Holy Cross. St. André was the door-keeper at a college in Montréal for 40 years, built a chapel to St. Joseph, started the construction of St. Joseph’s Oratory, and was known as the “Miracle Man of Montréal.”[14] St. André is another great example of having hope in Jesus throughout difficulties in life, which lead to extraordinary impacts since over 2 million pilgrims come to St. Joseph’s Oratory every year.[15]
Within this new year, as you and your spouse experience the joys and struggles in your daily life, may you pray for and strive to increase hope, especially the hope found in Jesus’ love for you. May this Jubilee year be a time to renew your hope in God, in your marriage, and yourselves.
-Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Edmonton area. Melissa works with Catholic couples to help them have marriages that are both fulfilling and pleasing to God. Melissa has been married since 2002 and has four children. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage enrichment book and workbook To Know, Love and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melisssaguzik.com
[1] Francis (2024, May 9). Spes Non Confundit: Bull of indiction of the ordinary Jubilee of the year 2025. Libreria Editrice Vaticana. https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/bulls/documents/20240509_spes-non-confundit_bolla-giubileo2025.html, no. 1.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Francis (2024, May 9). Spes Non Confundit: Bull of indiction of the ordinary Jubilee of the year 2025. Libreria Editrice Vaticana. https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/bulls/documents/20240509_spes-non-confundit_bolla-giubileo2025.html, no. 3.
[4] Abramson, A. (2024, January 1). Hope as the antidote. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/01/trends-hope-greater-meaning-life
[5] Ibid.
[6] Ibid.
[7] Ibid.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Ibid.
[10] Ibid.
[11] Canadian Saints: St. Marguerite Bourgeoys (1620-1700) (n.d.). Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. https://www.cccb.ca/the-catholic-church-in-canada/saints-blesseds-canada/canadian-saints/st-marguerite-bourgeoys-1620-1700/
[12] Ibid.
[13] North American Sanctity: St. Marguerite Bourgeoys. (n.d.). Marians of the Immaculate Conception. https://marian.org/articles/north-american-sanctity-st-marguerite-bourgeoys
[14] Wilson, K., (n.d.). The miracle man of Montreal: St. André Bessette. Marians of the Immaculate Conception. https://marian.org/articles/miracle-man-montreal-st-andre-bessette
[15] Vatican News (n.d.). St. André Bessette. Dicasterium pro Communicatione. https://www.vaticannews.va/en/saints/01/06/st–andre-bessette.html