Love is an important part of marriage, yet isn’t always easy to live out. There may be moments where you feel more in love with your spouse than at other times, or are better able to work together in certain situations than others. You may be looking for ways to strengthen your relationship, or you may be struggling with difficult times as a couple.
“Jesus has made Himself the Bread of Life to give us life. Night and day, He is there. If you really want to grow in love, come back to the Eucharist, come back to that Adoration.”
– St. Teresa of Calcutta[1]
There are many different approaches to take or things to do to improve one’s marriage. You can go on dates, take time to listen to each other, share with your spouse what you appreciate about them, or go to marriage counselling to name a few ideas. While all these things can be valuable, a couple can also grow together spiritually. One way to do so is through the suggestion of St. Teresa of Calcutta, who’s feast day was Sept. 5: “If you really want to grow in love, come back to the Eucharist, come back to that Adoration.”[2] Starting this month, one of the pastoral priorities for the Archdiocese of Edmonton is that of focusing on how “we are a faith community that joyfully celebrates and better understands the Eucharist.”[3] This pastoral priority applies to marriage in how you and your spouse may joyfully celebrate and better understand the Eucharist as a way to grow in love.
How can you and your spouse understand the Eucharist better? The Eucharist is the Real Presence of the body and blood of Jesus. If you want to learn more about the Eucharist, one resource you can check out is the Catholic Answers website. Having an understanding of the Eucharist is important, as St. John Paul II shared in Familiaris Consortio that, “The Eucharist is the very source of Christian marriage.”[4]
He explained that “[t]he Eucharistic Sacrifice, in fact, represents Christ’s covenant of love with the Church, sealed with His blood on the Cross. In this sacrifice of the New and Eternal Covenant, Christian spouses encounter the source from which their own marriage covenant flows, is interiorly structured and continuously renewed. As a representation of Christ’s sacrifice of love for the Church, the Eucharist is a fountain of charity.”[5]
As St. John Paul II emphasized, the Eucharist is the source of love for a couple in living out the sacrament and covenant of marriage, and shows us how the Eucharist is a needed focus in couple’s lives. Regardless of how much you and your spouse know about the Eucharist, you could find a resource to go through at home, or you could attend events at your parish or in the Archdiocese for ways to deepen this understanding as a couple.
How can you joyfully celebrate the Eucharist within your marriage? One way of doing this is to go to Mass with your spouse to receive Holy Communion with a heart that is open to joyful celebration, and may include taking the opportunity to prepare for Mass together. This time of preparation could involve going through the readings, or just the Gospel, of the Mass together, and possibly discussing what was read. This could occur at a meal or at another point during the weekend before going to Mass.
You can also unite your marriage to the sacrifice of the Mass by offering intentions in the silence of your heart on the altar for your relationship and family, especially in a positive manner. For example, “Jesus, I pray for my spouse for their struggles with insomnia and I ask that you give them the rest and energy their body needs” or “Jesus, I offer you my family. Please give us the gift of joy, fun, and laughter.”
At the 150th Anniversary of St. Thérèse of Lisieux’s birth, Pope Francis reminded us that St. Thérèse “put first not her desire to receive Jesus in Holy Communion, but rather the desire of Jesus to unite himself to us and to dwell in our hearts.”[6] When you receive the Eucharist and say “Amen”, acknowledging your belief in the body of Christ, try to do so with a heart that is thankful for the sacrifice Jesus made for you in offering His life for you and His desire to be united with you and your spouse.
St. Teresa of Calcutta recommended that we “come back to Adoration”[7] to grow in love, which is another way to joyfully celebrate the Eucharist as a couple. If you or your spouse have never been to Eucharistic Adoration or would like more information about it, you can check out this small guide on the Dynamic Catholic website.
Eucharistic Adoration is frequently associated with making a Holy Hour to pray with Jesus in adoration. This hour of prayer as a couple, with or without your children, may feel unrealistic depending on your state in life or daunting if you have never sat in prayer for an hour. Instead of taking an “all or nothing” approach to Adoration, you can take the time that you have with your spouse or children to be present with Jesus. In the marriage program United in Love – United in Christ, the idea was shared of having a “Holy High Five.”
This approach involves going to Adoration as a family for five minutes to take some time to slow down and be present with Jesus. You are certainly welcome to spend more than five minutes, but the idea is that anytime you are able to spend in Adoration can help you in growing closer to, and in love for, Jesus and for your spouse. You can go to Adoration at your parish when it is offered or pray anytime at the Corpus Christi Chapel of Perpetual Adoration at St. Andrew’s Parish.
Over the next three years, the Archdiocese of Edmonton will focus on three pastoral priorities: Formation for Eucharistic Worship, formation for Confident Witness and formation for Service to Families and Marriage
As there is a renewed focus on Eucharistic worship within the Archdiocese of Edmonton on how “we are a faith community that joyfully celebrates and better understands the Eucharist,”[9] may this be an opportunity for you and your spouse to create moments of connection together that are rooted in Jesus’ presence in the Eucharist. May this also be an opportunity to add a spiritual component to growing closer together in love for each other and for Jesus through the graces you receive in the sacraments of the Eucharist and marriage.
-Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in Edmonton. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage enrichment book and workbook To Know, Love and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melisssaguzik.com