Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.
– Luke 1: 38
Advent is starting to wind down, and within a week the Christmas season will have started. During the next couple of weeks, we will hear many familiar Gospel readings. On Friday, December 20, the Gospel is of the Annunciation, which ends with our Blessed Mother Mary’s words to accept being the mother of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word,” (Luke 1: 38).
These words are of even more significance right now since “Be It Done: Living in the Word” is also the theme for the pastoral priorities in the Archdiocese of Edmonton over the next three years.[1] Given how busy this time of year is, it may be helpful to take a moment to slow down during this last week of Advent or within the Christmas season to ponder this verse and ask yourself: What do these words mean for me within my marriage to be open to God and to my spouse?
You may see Mary’s courageous and incredible “yes” to God as beyond your own ability. After all, Mary was immaculately conceived and was telling the angel Gabriel that she agreed to be the mother of Jesus! Not many of us have angels coming to speak to us and asking us to play such a significant role in the history of the world. But that is OK given that salvation history only needed Mary’s “yes,” which also showed us how to do God’s will.
Mary’s example of faith, trust, and actions in God’s plans for her life created a ripple effect of others who trusted in, accepted, and acted in accordance with God’s will. After the Annunciation, Mary trusted the words St. Gabriel said were true and acted by visiting her cousin Elizabeth. In turn, this visit allowed Elizabeth to proclaim that Mary is the mother of our Lord and hosted Mary in her home for three months while she was pregnant with St. John the Baptist (see Luke 1: 39-56). St. Joseph also agreed to take Mary as his wife after an angel spoke to him in a dream (see Matthew 1: 18-25), journeyed with Mary to Bethlehem (see Luke 2: 1-7), went to Egypt to escape Herod (see Matthew 2: 13-15), and raised Jesus in Nazareth with Mary (see Luke 2: 39-40). However, it didn’t end there. The shepherds, who received the announcement of the birth of Jesus and invitation to go visit Him, accepted to go to Bethlehem and confidently shared their amazing experiences with others (see Luke 2: 8-20). Furthermore, the wise men, who left their countries of origin to follow the star and the prophets, agreed to follow God’s plan for their lives through their journey in search of Jesus and listening to their dream about not returning to see Herod (see Matthew 2: 1-12). And this was only the beginning of the multitudes of people who have said “yes” to God since Jesus entered the world to become one with us.
It is amazing to reflect on how none of these situations would have occurred without Mary’s acceptance of God’s will since He gave her free will to choose. After all, in Mary’s “yes,” she was “[e]mbracing God’s salvific will with a full heart and impeded by no sin, she devoted herself totally as a handmaid of the Lord to the person and work of her Son, under Him and with Him, by the grace of almighty God, serving the mystery of redemption. Rightly therefore the holy Fathers see her as used by God not merely in a passive way, but as freely cooperating in the work of human salvation through faith and obedience.”[2]
How can you also follow God’s will for your life as the Blessed Mother Mary, St. Elizabeth, St. Joseph, the shepherds, and wise men? Catherine Doherty wrote about the duty of the moment that is before you, and how “the duty of the moment is the duty of God.”[3] All the people in the list above were also doing their “duty of the moment” when they agreed to God’s will in salvation history. For example, the shepherds were “living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night” when the angel appeared to them (Luke 2: 8-9). Their duty of the moment was watching their sheep, followed by unexpectedly visiting the Holy Family in Bethlehem.
For yourself, your “duty of the moment” could be what you thought your duties of the day were supposed to be or may be the experiences that come up unexpectedly in your day. This could include caring for a sick child, attentively listening to your spouse, doing the dishes, changing a diaper, doing laundry, wrapping Christmas presents, running an errand, working, going to Mass, visiting an aging parent, sitting down to rest when you are tired or sick, and the list goes on. You may have a huge to-do list with preparations for Christmas or how to spend the holidays, yet it is the duty that you are called to in that moment that is the most important one that God is calling you to, even if it means, for instance, stopping what you were doing to care for a child who is hurt. As you say “yes” to God in the small moments and try to do them with as much love as you can, instead of escaping your duties or being frustrated with the “interruptions”, you participate in God’s will for your day.
Another way of saying “yes” specifically within your marriage can include having rituals of connection with your spouse. These rituals can allow for moments to turn towards your spouse to strengthen your marital friendship and emotional connection.[4] During the remainder of Advent and the Christmas season, when life can be very busy and overwhelming, what are some ways that you and your spouse can connect? Some ideas could include giving each other a kiss and both sharing how your day went while you were apart, savouring a coffee or tea together before the Christmas tree or nativity scene in your home, enjoying the Christmas lights in your neighbourhood just the two of you, or sitting together to talk about your hopes and expectations for Christmas. To connect spiritually, you could read and talk about the daily Gospel reading once a week at a meal you share together, or pray before the replica image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, currently at the Mount Carmel Spirituality Centre this Advent. There are many possibilities for connection together, but the importance is to take the time to turn towards your spouse even amidst the busyness that Advent and Christmas can bring.
As you and your spouse continue to prepare for and celebrate the Christmas season, may you say “yes” to doing what God has called you to do in the moment, and prioritize time with each other. Hopefully this can be a time to imitate the Blessed Mother Mary in her words “let it be with me according to your word.” A Blessed Advent and a Merry Christmas to you and your spouse!
-Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Greater Edmonton area. Melissa has been married since 2002 and has four children. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage enrichment book and workbook To Know, Love and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melisssaguzik.com
[1] The Catholic Archdiocese of Edmonton (n.d.). Pastoral priorities. https://caedm.ca/pastoralpriorities/
[2] Paul VI (1964, November 21). Dogmatic Constitution on the Church – Lumen Gentium. Vatican: The Holy See., #56. https://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19641121_lumen-gentium_en.html.
[3] De Hueck Doherty, C. (1996). Fragments of my life. Madonna House Publications, p. 53.
[4] Gottman, J. M. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically based marital therapy. W. W. Norton & Company, pp. 106 & 269.