“I was in prison and you came to me.”
– Matthew 25:36
Most people do not have the opportunity to visit the imprisoned. However, visiting the imprisoned is one of the corporal works of mercy and is found in St. Matthew’s Gospel, when Jesus shares about how “The King will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’” (Matthew 25:34-40 RSV-CE). When it comes to visiting the imprisoned, how do you as a married couple, live out this work of mercy, especially if you aren’t visiting people in prison?
When it comes to directly visiting the imprisoned, you can inquire into whether your parish, or another parish, has a prison ministry to get involved in.[1] If doing so isn’t an option for you and your spouse, you could also “volunteer to help out or donate to charities that give Christmas presents to children whose parents are in prison.”[2]
One saint who is great example of caring for the imprisoned is St. Marin de Porres. “Martin grew up in the humblest of circumstances in 16th-century Lima. He joined a Dominican monastery, and wanted to become a foreign missionary. He was not allowed to leave the monastery, so he became a missionary in his own city. He established an orphanage and hospital for abandoned children, and reached out to care for slaves who were taken from Africa and being unloaded in Peru after a miserable journey. In his care for imprisoned slaves, St. Martin de Porres reached out to the most outcast and rejected people of his society.”[3] Is there a group or certain people who you both feel you could reach out to directly or through a charity group who are the most outcast or rejected people in your society?
If you can’t physically visit people in prison, there are other ways you can live out this corporal work of mercy. You can do what St. Thérèse of Lisieux did, who’s feast day is October 1, and you can pray for people who are imprisoned and for priests and chaplains who work in prison ministry. After all, when St. Thérèse heard of a criminal, named Pranzini, who was condemned to death for three murders, the only thing she could do was pray.
In The Story of A Soul, St. Thérèse writes, “I knew that by myself I could do nothing, so I offered God the infinite merits of Our Lord and the treasures of the Church. I was quite certain that my prayers would be answered, but to give me courage to go on praying for sinners I said to God: ‘I am sure You will forgive this wretched Pranzini. I shall believe You have done so even if he does not confess, or give any sign of repentance, for I have complete faith in the infinite mercy of Jesus. But I ask You for just one sign of repentance to encourage me.”[4]
In the end, when St. Thérèse read the newspaper after his execution, she read that Pranzini “was ready to thrust his head beneath the guillotine’s blade when he suddenly turned, seized the crucifix offered to him by the priest, and thrice kissed the Sacred Wounds.”[5] Just like her example, you and your spouse can also pray for imprisoned.
Going beyond the people who are physically in prison, you can also visit people or provide services to those who are alone and isolated, such as people living in a nursing home or extended care home, those in the hospital, or those who are homebound.[6] There are many ideas of services you could provide. For example, your local library may have volunteers who bring books to people who are homebound. You and your spouse can also contact your local care home and see if you could help out by doing something with or for someone who is alone and isolated. You could make cards for people who live there, or visit with people who don’t receive visitors to talk, play games, do crafts, play music, or sing together. In addition, you could speak to your priest to see if there is someone who could benefit from getting a ride to Mass or other events at your parish, who may not be able to attend otherwise.
Furthermore, you may look even closer to home on how to live out this work of mercy. After all, if you are a parent/grandparent to a small child/grandchild, who is in their crib, you visit the imprisoned every time you go to help them out of their crib to meet their needs. Being a parent to a newborn or to a small child is not easy and can be physically and emotionally draining, especially when you experience a lack of sleep or are undergoing hormonal changes. During this time, when life can seem very hard, your actions of love in caring for your child and praying for the needs of your child, yourself, and your family, is certainly another way of visiting the imprisoned.
You may also reach outside of your own social group and connect with people who experience rejection. This could include connecting with a friend or family member who you have lost touch with or have experienced conflict with. “Reaching out is a key way to offer hope where it is needed. […] This could be a door to unlocking the prison of indifference. Reconciliation is also a form of breaking the chain of imprisonment. It is key in [your] spiritual life to reach beyond [your] boundaries. When [making] friends outside of a clique, [you] are making outreach to the imprisoned. This can be done anywhere. Whether at home, work, school, or church [you] can make a difference. In doing so, [you] are imitating Christ.”[7]
Even within your marriage, are there resentments or conflicts that have not been resolved between you and your spouse? Perhaps you could take time to come together with your spouse and possibly even go out of your home to connect. During this time, you can discuss how both of you are feeling about what is happening, and share why your need is important given the circumstances so that you and your spouse can understand where you are both coming from without problem solving.[8]
You could take time to listen to each other and repeat back to one another what the other person is saying to confirm your understanding. This may allow you to both hear each other’s perspectives to break through some of the chains of resentment that are forming, or have formed, within your relationship. You could also try to take some time to share with each other the things you appreciate about one another, such as “I appreciate how you were thoughtful in getting the groceries that I needed as it saved me a trip during a very busy day.”
You can certainly show appreciation about the many small aspects of life. These may seem like simple ideas, but over time they can be helpful because “when you acknowledge and openly discuss positive aspects of your partner and your marriage, your bond is strengthened. This makes it much easier to address the problem areas in your marriage and make some positive changes.”[9]
As you and your spouse take time to reflect on the corporal work of mercy of visiting the imprisoned, may you take some time to discuss how you can both respond to this work with the imprisoned in your home and community. Hopefully, the examples of St. Martin de Porres and St. Thérèse of Lisieux allow you to ponder how you can be of assistance to others in your current life circumstances. After all, they demonstrate how the smallest prayer and doing things right where you are can make a significant difference in the lives of others.
– Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Edmonton area. She is the author of the newly published book Together With the Saints: A Year of Wisdom for Couples, and the co-author of the Catholic marriage preparation and enrichment book and workbook: To Know, Love, and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment 2nd Edition that are also newly available in French. Melissa lectures at St. Joseph Seminary and presents in dioceses across Canada. Information about Melissa’s private practice and writing can be found at melissaguzik.com and writingsbymelissa.ca
Sign up for The WINDOW, the weekly electronic bulletin with news from the Archdiocese of Edmonton.
