Christ is risen! Truly He is risen! The Easter season, which lasts 50 days from Easter Sunday until Pentecost, is a time of joy, excitement, trust, mercy, and peace. Even if you are in the midst of struggles in your lives, how can you and your spouse live out this Easter season together?
To help reflect on Easter and your relationship, we will go back to the Gospels to the Easter story:
“Now on the first day of the week Mary Mag′dalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.’ Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples went back to their homes,” (John 20: 1-10).
As you can see, the Resurrection scene starts with concern, worry, and a sense of urgency as it is thought that Jesus has been taken. After running to and entering the tomb, these feelings then changed into belief. You can imagine the excitement, wonder, and joy that came with that belief! Just think of how Peter and the other disciple’s hearts must have been pounding after running to the tomb, how they were surprised and took time to look around the empty tomb, and how their minds must have been turning as they were taking everything in that they saw. You can only imagine what the conversations would have been like when they went back home!
Given that Easter is the feast of all feasts, there are many ways to celebrate Easter over the next 50 days. You and your spouse could take time to look back at your lives, and particularly at your relationship, to discuss with each other times of joy, wonder, or excitement you have had together. You could also share significant moments of your belief in Jesus and experiences you have had during Easter.
Furthermore, you can take time to enjoy some feasting and celebration by having tea or coffee along with a special Easter dessert while talking about the Easter Gospels and events from the Acts of the Apostles. You could also go for an Emmaus walk together or with your family and friends, and read the scripture reading that goes with it (Luke 24:13-35). The Gregory the Great Institute provides a great idea of how to go on an Emmaus walk.
As we delve back into the Easter story, it continues with Mary Magdalene’s experience of the resurrected Jesus:
“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ She said to them, ‘Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.’ Saying this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek?’ Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary.’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rab-bo′ni!’ (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, ‘Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ Mary Mag′dalene went and said to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord’; and she told them that he had said these things to her,” (John 20: 11-19).
Mary Magdalene’s grief and confusion are transformed with her encounter with Jesus. You may imagine the profound joy and reassurance that she experienced to not only know that Jesus was found, but that He was risen and spoke to her! Within your relationship, there are times that miscommunications occur or times that you interpret a situation in the wrong way, and then after speaking, a clarity emerges resulting in joy. Mary Magdalene must have felt a deeper connection with Jesus from this experience. After all, He used her name and explained what was actually happening while being present with her within her grief and struggles.
Can you also do the same with your spouse? You can both take time to slow down, use one another’s name, and explain what you were trying to say to each other. You can do this while being cognizant of the nonverbal communication you are using. This could include gently touching your spouse, speaking softly, or gently looking into each other’s eyes. Taking the time to do so may result in a deeper connection with your spouse, perhaps a little like Mary Magdalene’s experience with Jesus.
Another way to connect with your spouse this Easter, can be through times of prayer. One idea is to pray the Regina Coeli prayer with your spouse and children. It is typically prayed in Easter to replace the Angelus at 6:00am, noon and 6:00pm.[1] Even if you aren’t together at those times (or you only pray at one of those times), you could call or do a video call together to pray and see how your day is going. Doing this over the 50 days of Easter can help establish good habits and rituals of connection[2] between the two of you.
Now let’s return to the Easter story:
“On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’ When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained,’” (John 20: 19-23).
Here you see Jesus offering peace, the Holy Spirit, and forgiveness to his disciples. How can you offer forgiveness to your spouse this Easter for times they have hurt you? A week after Easter Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday. St. John Paul II reminded the Church that, “Jesus said to Sr. Faustina one day: ‘Humanity will never find peace until it turns with trust to Divine Mercy’ (Diary, p. 132). Divine Mercy! This is the Easter gift that the Church receives from the risen Christ and offers to humanity at the dawn of the third millennium.”[3]
On Divine Mercy Sunday, you and your spouse may take time to be humble with each other by accepting responsibility for ways you have hurt each other, apologizing, and sharing what changes you will make to try to prevent your actions from reoccurring. You can both strive to forgive and offer the gift of mercy to each other. Now forgiveness is a process, but taking the time to actively try to forgive your spouse can help diminish or stop resentments.[4] These repair attempts can also help build trust and friendship, which may lead to increased peace within yourselves and your relationship.[5] You can go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation to seek forgiveness and mercy from God as well. There are also many other ways to celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday. You can make Divine Mercy sundaes, pray a Chaplet of Divine Mercy, get a image of Divine Mercy for your home, or read or watch something about St. Faustina and the message of Divine Mercy. However you choose to celebrate it, may it be a time to see Jesus’ love and mercy for you and your spouse.
Throughout this Easter season, may you experience much joy, trust, mercy, and peace, especially if you are struggling. May you and your spouse also see the hope of the Resurrection in your lives and relationship. Happy Easter!
Sign up for The WINDOW, the weekly electronic bulletin with news from the Archdiocese of Edmonton.
– Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Greater Edmonton area. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage preparation and enrichment book and workbook that were recently re-released: To Know, Love, and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment: 2nd Edition. Melissa lectures at St. Joseph Seminary and presents in dioceses across Canada. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melissaguzik.com
