St. Nicholas was a bishop during the fourth-century in Myra, which was a city in Lycia, a province of Asia Minor.[1] “Perhaps the best-known story about Nicholas concerns his charity toward a poor man who was unable to provide dowries for his three daughters of marriageable age. Rather than see them forced into prostitution, Nicholas secretly tossed a bag of gold through the poor man’s window on three separate occasions, thus enabling the daughters to be married. Over the centuries, this particular legend evolved into the custom of gift-giving on the saint’s feast.”[2] How can the example of St. Nicholas inspire you and your spouse this Advent?
Service to Marriage and Family is one of the three Pastoral Priorities of the Archdiocese.
St. Nicholas was generous with others by listening to their needs and responding accordingly. After all, he provided gold coins to the father who’s daughters would have been forced into prostitution if he couldn’t pay their dowries to get married. Advent is a very busy time of year with many preparations for Christmas. In the spirit of generosity for your spouse, can each of you take some time to slow down, listen to one another’s needs, and respond accordingly as you are each able?
When it comes to gifts this Christmas, is there something that your spouse would appreciate? It may be helpful to speak together about expectations you have around gifts for each other and possible gift ideas. Since it isn’t possible to mind read, you and your spouse won’t be able to meet one another’s needs for a gift without sharing your desires with each other. Even St. Nicholas would not have been able to provide the money for the dowries without someone sharing with him that this need existed.
On December 6th, the Church celebrates St. Nicholas’ feast day. Here are some ideas that you and your family could use to celebrate it:
- You can put your shoes at the door and put gold chocolate coins or a chocolate Santa Claus in them for your spouse and children.
- You, your spouse, and children can share with each other the gifts you recognize that God has given each of you as the unique individuals He created you to be.
- You could sit together, read a story about St. Nicholas, and discuss what stands out to you.
- You and your spouse could do something for people who are poor and in need this Advent like St. Nicholas did, even if you aren’t tossing a bag of gold coins in someone’s window.
Other ideas can be found at A Catholic Mom’s Life or Catholic Icing.
St. Nicholas is the patron saint of brides and grooms, and children. On his feast day, it may be a good opportunity to reflect on your wedding and look at your wedding pictures. You could share with each other your favourite memories of that day. Then you could ask St. Nicholas for his intercession for your marriage and for couples who are preparing for marriage. If you have children or godchildren, you could also pray for St. Nicholas’ intercession for them, regardless of how old they are.
Here is a prayer to St. Nicholas that you and your spouse could pray together:
O good St. Nicholas, you who are the joy of the children, put in my heart the spirit of childhood, which the Gospel speaks, and teach me to seed happiness around me.
You, whose feast prepares us for Christmas, open my faith to the mystery of God-made man. You, good bishop and shepherd, help me to find my place in the Church and inspire the Church to be faithful to the Gospel.
O good Saint Nicholas, patron of children, sailors, and the helpless, watch over those who pray to Jesus, your Lord and theirs, as well as over those who humble themselves before you.
Bring us all in reverence to the Holy Child of Bethlehem, where true joy and peace are found. Amen.”[3]
As you and your spouse prepare for Christmas this Advent, may the example of St. Nicholas assist you in growing closer together, recognizing the gifts in your lives, increasing in generosity, and helping to prepare your hearts for the hope, peace, and joy that Christ brings. St. Nicholas pray for us!
– Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Greater Edmonton area. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage preparation and enrichment book and workbook To Know, Love, and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment: 2nd Edition. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melisssaguzik.com
[1] Franciscan Media (n.d.). Saint Nicholas. https://www.franciscanmedia.org/saint-of-the-day/saint-nicholas/
[2] Ibid.
[3] EWTN (2023, December 5). 2 Powerful Prayers to the Great Saint Nicholas, Patron Saint of Children & The REAL Santa Claus. https://ewtn.no/2-powerful-prayers-to-the-great-saint-nicholas-patron-saint-of-children-the-real-santa-claus/
