“Like St. Paul, change your life and become a ‘new creature.’”- Pope Francis[1]
Happy New Year!
As the calendar year switches over, people often take time to reflect on changes they would like to make during the upcoming year and may make New Year’s resolutions. One of the solemnities the Church celebrates near the beginning of the year is on Jan. 25: the Conversion of St. Paul. Although it may not seem obvious at first, the experiences St. Paul had during his conversion can provide insights into how you and your spouse may care for yourselves and each other over the next year.
(Formation for Service to Families and Marriage is one of three Pastoral Priorities of the Archdiocese)
When you are caring for yourself and fostering intimacy with your spouse, there are different ways to do so: emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally.[2] Through St. Paul’s conversion, you can see how he cared for himself in these manners.
Spiritually, St. Paul cared for himself by praying, engaging in the sacraments, and seeing the spiritual witness of others. For example, St. Paul witnessed the stoning of St. Stephen—the first martyr of the Church—(see Acts 7: 58) and the men and women he persecuted (see Acts 8: 1-3). These faithful witnesses likely had a significant impact on him as he recognized the courage they had in persevering in their faith even to the point of prison or death. St. Paul also experienced the presence of Jesus speaking to him (see Acts 9: 3-6) and developed a relationship with Him. From that sudden encounter, he took time to pray (see Acts 9: 11), and was baptized (see Acts 9: 18). As a couple, what spiritual changes may you want to make this year? How can you pray together, and what can you pray for each other regarding? Who are some people who are witnesses of faith to you? These may be people who are living or who have died, such as the saints, a parishioner, neighbour, priest, religious brother or sister, close family member, or friend. What changes do these people inspire you to make? In what ways do the sacraments help you? Is there a sacrament you would like to participate in more, such as going to confession or Mass more frequently?
Physically, St. Paul likely took time to rest during the three days he was without his sight (see Acts 9: 9). He also took time to eat after he was healed, which strengthened him (see Acts 9: 19). In what ways can you and your spouse better care for yourselves physically? Can you go to sleep earlier, eat healthier food, increase or start to exercise, or decrease screen time? Any of these changes may help you have greater capacity to cope with stress and struggles within your family. What physical needs can help you unite as a couple? Can you take time together to exercise, be physically intimate, share meals, or go to bed at the same time to allow for opportunities of connection?
Emotionally, St. Paul received support through Anani’as during his healing and from the disciples in Damascus (see Acts 9: 17-19), showing how God brings people into your lives to help support you. Is there anyone you could seek assistance or accountability from? Through your marriage, God has also brought you together as a support for each other. How can you and your spouse acknowledge the feeling each of you are experiencing and encourage each other as needed? Is there a set time you could connect each day?
Mentally, St. Paul had to learn from the disciples about Jesus, and likely did so during his time with them. He also used his intellect to help preach about his experience as a Christian and “proving that Jesus was the Christ,” which started shortly after his conversion (Acts 9: 20-22). As a couple, how can you connect intellectually? Is there a topic you want to learn more about together and discuss? Is there a faith or book study you would like to join together? Can you learn about the interests of each other, and why they are important and interesting to your spouse? Is there a project you would like to jointly start or continue this year?
In the next couple of weeks as you approach the solemnity of the Conversion of St. Paul, may you and your spouse take time to discuss and write down what ways you could possibly grow in your care for yourselves and connect with each other. Is there one small change you could make in each of the four areas? Then, when the solemnity arrives on January 25th, you can check in to see how you are progressing in your goals. If you are doing well, congratulations! It can be a time to celebrate your success and discuss how you can maintain what you are doing. If you are struggling, ask yourselves if your goals need to be smaller, more realistic given your circumstances in life, or require greater support to achieve. Remember that struggles can be opportunities to learn from what either, or both, of you are facing to be able to adapt accordingly.
May this new year be an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow closer to each other, other people in your community, and to God. May this month be a chance to ponder the life and conversion of St. Paul, who is a great example to us. After all, St. Paul would have made significant changes, both initially and ongoing, that were spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental to be able to go from persecuting Christians to becoming one of the great Apostles and saints of the early Church!
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-Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Greater Edmonton area. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage preparation and enrichment book and workbook that were recently re-released: To Know, Love, and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment: 2nd Edition. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at www.melissaguzik.com
[1] Castellano Lubov, D. (2023, March 29). Pope at audience: Like St. Paul, change your life and become a ‘new creature’. Vatican News. https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2023-03/pope-at-audience-change-your-life-like-st-paul.html
[2] Guzik, M., & MacKenzie, J. (2025). To know, love, and serve: A path to marital fulfilment (2nd Ed.). Justin Press, p. 75.
