Clothing is something that is handled every day and that everyone requires. It takes on great cultural, spiritual, and personal significance as well. “Jesus says that every time we give food to the hungry and drink to the thirsty, cloth the naked and welcome the foreigner, visit the sick or imprisoned, we do the same to him (cf. Mt 25:31-46). The Church calls these actions ‘corporal works of mercy’, because they assist people with their material necessities.”[1] When it comes to clothing the naked, how can you and your spouse work on this corporal work of mercy?
It may be helpful to start with examining ways that you already live out clothing the naked. As you are doing laundry, purchasing clothes, or giving clothes away, you are already engaged in this corporal work of mercy. If you help people get dressed because you are a parent of young children, have children with special needs, are helping a sick or injured loved one, work with clothing, or your job involves clothing someone, you are also living this work out. There is a great sense of vulnerability for the person being dressed. You may acknowledge the vulnerability and the dignity of the person in front of you as you are literally clothing them. After all, you are within the person’s personal space and are likely seeing the person naked or nearly naked, which is not something to be taken lightly as it is a space to be honoured. You can also think of Proverbs 31: 25 of how “strength and dignity are her clothing” as the person in front of you likely requires strength to be humble to accept help to get dressed and has inherent dignity. As you are doing the task of clothing someone, you could practice saying a silent prayer for the person you are assisting.
Beyond clothing an actual person, there are many other ways that you can clothe the naked. You and your family can donate gently used clothing to charities, shelters, or to people in need at your parish or community. For example, someone who has newly immigrated or is going through a hard time financially may be in need of additional clothing, especially given the local changes in seasons that require a much greater array of clothing than in places that have roughly one temperature all year round. You can also donate street worthy shoes, winter boots, steel toe boots, socks, gloves, or toques to the Marian Centre. There are many upcycling options online as well to give and receive clothing and other items to reduce unnecessary purchases and waste. In addition, you could ask family or friends if they need the clothes you are giving away. Sometimes people are in need but struggle to share that they are. Therefore, an offer of clothing can allow for an unknown need to be met.
Clothing can be a source of disagreement within relationships. Arguments can occur about whether something is appropriate to wear for an occasion, if colours match, what should be given away, or how to best purchase clothing. If you and your spouse are disagreeing on how you handle clothes, you may take time to discuss how you are feeling about the struggles. This may also be an opportunity to share with each other past experiences you have had that shape your thoughts and feelings about clothing, or meaning you take from how clothing is worn or purchased. Allowing time to both share your thoughts and feelings, and paraphrasing what the other is saying so that you can confirm that you are understanding each other, may be helpful first steps to work through the disagreements.
When it comes to clothing, there is also the ongoing, never ending, task of laundry. There are so many steps to doing laundry: sorting, washing, drying, possibly ironing, folding, and putting clothes away. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to do laundry, especially if there are many people in your family or the clothes you are washing are particularly dirty, thus increasing the amount of laundry generated. It may be helpful to reframe your perspective in that dirty laundry also can represent memories created or important moments that occurred while wearing it. For instance, cleaning a spouse’s or child’s stinky work or sport’s clothing can turn into moments to remember. You can thank God that someone has a job that is generating income that provides for your family, has the physical ability to play sports, or may be developing or maintaining different skills or knowledge.
While working on laundry, people in your family could pray for the person who’s laundry they are doing. It could be a simple prayer of petition for a specific intention or of thanksgiving for the person. You could also pray a rosary or a chaplet of Divine Mercy while working on it. Furthermore, you could ponder what you appreciate about the person who’s clothes you are cleaning. Here is an exercise of appreciation for your spouse that you could use. These opportunities can help you to grow in appreciation for your spouse and children, which can positively impact relationships. After all, fondness and admiration are crucial “to the friendship that is at the core of any good marriage. By simply reminding yourself of your spouse’s positive qualities—even as you grapple with each other’s flaws—you can prevent a happy marriage from deteriorating [since] fondness and admiration are antidotes for contempt.”[2]
Servant of God Catherine Doherty, the founder of Madonna House, taught about the importance of laundry when she wrote that, “The laundry at Madonna House is a school of love, where every one of your actions can have an infinite value in restoring God’s kingdom. You can save the world, or at least many souls in it. […] It is a place that looks and smells like Nazareth, because you do there what Our Lady did. The repetitive work of ironing or folding clothes allows your mind and heart to roam at will, to meditate, to ponder what you do there, and why you do it. […] You write that love letter [to God] in the way that you handle things in the laundry: the items to be washed, the water that you use, the machinery that you run. The way you hang clothes; the way you fold them or iron them—all this will form your love letter to God that you give him when the day is over.”[3]
In addition, Catherine shared how, “In the Sewing Department of Madonna House we ‘clothe the naked’. […] We learn to sew, to mend, to make things out of odd pieces—things of beauty as well as great usefulness. We learn to transform a piece of material – cotton, silk, or what have you—into an offering of love and compassion. The poor forever mend the same garment. The sewing room is the place to meditate on poverty. […] We can learn that out of what the world throws away as trash, loving fingers and open hearts can produce joy, beauty, and peace.”[4] These short reflections on laundry and sewing can certainly change one’s perspective on the importance of these tasks and the impact they can have as they are done.
As you and your spouse work on the corporal work of mercy of clothing the naked, may this be an opportunity to reflect on and acknowledge how you already live out this work for yourself, your spouse, your children, or people in your community. May you both take time to discuss how you want to grow in clothing the naked to “produce joy, beauty, and peace,” as Catherine Doherty wrote.
– Melissa Guzik is a registered psychologist who works in private practice in the Greater Edmonton area. She is the co-author of the Catholic marriage preparation and enrichment book and workbook To Know, Love, and Serve: A Path to Marital Fulfilment: 2nd Edition. Information about Melissa’s private practice can be found at melisssaguzik.com
