I had many plans for my life, and becoming a sister was not one of them, but God’s love for me changed my heart…. He ‘called me by name’ and I wanted to respond with my whole life. So in September 2022, I joined the religious community of the Queenship of Mary Community, in Ottawa.
After three years of formation, I began to prepare to make my first vows with the community. A very informal part of the preparations included picking a tea mug every day. While there were lots of options, I’d almost always pick the mug with this scripture on it: “I have called you by name…”. Why? Because as part of the vow ceremony, I would also receive a new name. And in imitation of Mary, I wanted to ‘ponder all these things in (my) heart’, and it just so happened I’d do a lot of pondering with a warm cup of tea or coffee.
I hope to share with you my story, or more appropriately, God’s story.
My name is Sr. Catherine, Daughter of the Father and Servant of Mary. I am from Edmonton and grew up attending and then working at St. Thomas More Parish.
I’m sharing this story in particular for those who are wondering and wandering, those who are seeking God’s will for their life or even just seeking God (and wondering if He’s seeking them … spoiler, He is!). For those in high school or university – as those were the first moments where I was struggling with God and He worked powerfully to show me that I was loved.
“I have called you by name…” – Isaiah 43:1
God has been calling me, pursuing my heart. I did not know this while I was working as a civil engineer and I could only begin to see this when I felt prompted by God to change career paths and become the youth minister at St. Thomas More Parish. My ‘reconversion’ to the faith, or rather my coming into agreement and growing my desire to love God and the Catholic Church, didn’t take place until I was 23. I learned as much as I could about our faith and while it looked like I was deciding the next steps of my life, each of the steps were guided by God.
God is the true wealth of the human heart – Pope St. John Paul II
The initial call to religious life came during my year of mission work with NET Ireland, but was deepened while I was working at St. Thomas More Parish. The first acknowledgement of my religious call was when I surrendered to the Lord my deepest desire: to become a mother. “God calls all of us to be mothers,” a friend later told me, “most will be called to be physical mothers through marriage, but others will be called to be spiritual mothers through religious life as a sister”.
This truth struck my heart immensely and what continued from there was an openness to religious life. There was a special excitement in my heart whenever I was in the presence of joyful religious sisters, and I continued to want to give not just my career, but my whole life to serve God! This in itself doesn’t make one called to religious life, but it’s a good place to begin discerning. Discernment led me into a deeper intimacy with God.
This is the meaning of the call to the consecrated life: it is an initiative coming wholly from the Father (cf. Jn 15:16), who asks those whom he has chosen to respond with complete and exclusive devotion. – Vita Consecrata, JPII, 17
To pursue this love, which the Lord placed on my heart, I joined the Queenship of Mary. What strikes me most about the convent is the reorienting of a mindset – the first thing we are, is not about what we do, but about being. We are consecrated to God, which means we are “set apart” to love and serve Him in a special way. Everything we do is out of our love for Jesus, so even though we ‘do’ lots of things, it is all a prayer for love of Him!
But it wasn’t an easy and simple journey. Once I entered the convent, there was still quite a bit of discernment to know whether this was where God was calling me. It meant wrestling with the Lord, and letting go of things (even good things), and trusting that He truly would take care of me and satisfy every longing of my heart.
Learn more about Sr. Catherine’s own discernment
‘I will betroth you to me forever…’ Hosea 2:19
The day of my vows came very quickly. Professing religious vows of chastity, poverty and obedience is akin to a wedding day. It’s a beautiful and freeing event, truly grace filled as the woman religious betrothes her Bridegroom, Jesus. To be united to Jesus in this way, is a profound and unexplainable gift.
Receiving a new name is a way to more fully accept this new state of consecration. The new name is symbolic of a new mission – this is what God does in scripture: Simon becomes Peter, Saul to Paul, Sarai to Sarah, etc. I did not choose my name. While I was given an opportunity to propose a few meaningful names to my superior, she prays very intently with them, asking God to reveal the name He wants to call me. It’s therefore, God who calls me by name, it is truly Him who has a mission for me. As a fun note: I did not know the name beforehand, I found out at the exact same time as everyone else. This moment was not filled with fear, but complete consolation as I had put ALL of my trust in Jesus.
“From now on, you will henceforth be known in religion as…
Sr. Catherine, Daughter of the Father and Servant of Mary”
Becoming Sr. Catherine was not like I had to become someone new, but instead, became more fully myself!
The name ‘Catherine’ is from my new patron, but also ‘my dear friend’, St. Catherine of Siena. She is known for her deep love of God and unity in the Church, her fiery personality that was intent on bringing as many souls with her to heaven, her proclamation of the Truth through her many writings, and much more. I have found in her a friend who can both teach me and understand me! And her mission feels like my mission, a mission that God is calling me to continue in this time and space!
My titles excite me for what God has planned for my life! They feel like they are directional arrows in how God is calling me to share our faith with the world. First, to proclaim to all people that we are sons and daughters of a good Father! Knowing this identity is the most fundamental and integral identity for each christian! And as children of the Father, we can trust that we are seen, known, provided for and loved by our Heavenly Father. The second title and second arrow for my mission, includes guiding others to Jesus through our Blessed Mother. There is a great joy in knowing Mary. I want to share with others the many ways that loving, imitating and serving her can bring them joy as well!
‘Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.’ St. Catherine of Siena
As I come to a close, I share my story as it witnesses how I have been called by God to religious life. But I repeat, God is calling everyone! He wants to reveal to you how much He loves you, and how much He wants to partner with you during your journey on this earth. Do not be afraid!
So in fact, God has called me by name. I get to proclaim this very directly, as I have truly been given a new name. But my wish for all who are reading this, is that you begin to know and trust that God is calling you. Be very brave.
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